Thekiwisnake's nest

Metallica is coming to New Zealand! Metallica is coming to New Zealand!
From excitement to disappointment.
Yes, Metallica are coming to New Zealand but both shows are already sold out. Sold out within 20 minutes of the general sale, although if you tried to book online there were none left after two minutes.
So is there going to be a huge crowd at both concerts? I mean almost 120,000 people saw AC/DC in three concerts, and over 50,000 saw Iron Maiden in two concerts last year, and Metallica are more popular?
Well apparently Metallica is more popular in New Zealand and considering it's small population base own more Metallica albums than many other countries.
However, these two concerts won't have the crowds or the atmosphere like the concerts mentioned above. This is because they are playing at Auckland's Vector Arena. A venue that holds about 12,000 people. So a total of 24,000 fans were lucky enough to secure tickets for what could be Metallica's last visit to New Zealand.

Wow but isn't that crazy? I've seen Metallica before in 1998 and it was an outdoor concert and they played to nearly 60,000 people. They also played to about 30,000 at the Big Day Out in 2004.

Well the only thing I can think of is maybe they are worried about the weather at that time of the year. We all know how bad it can be.

Yes, but surely regardless of whether you have the concert in October or February the weather may play a part. Look at Iron Maiden for example. It rained all that Friday and people were sure it would be cancelled, but the rain cleared late evening and what a show it was.
Will they have more concerts then? I hear they are having three in Brisbane, three in Sydney, three in Melbourne, two in Perth and two in Adelaide.

Sadly no. These two concerts will be the only two in New Zealand, and maybe, just maybe the promoters have held back a few tickets to be released nearer the time.
So all I can say is, congratulations to all who were lucky enough to get tickets as it's going to be an awesome show.
If you're like me and missed out, but you've seen them before, at least we have the memories.
If by chance you've never seen them and missed out, feeling sorry for you won't help, and so I'll just move on.
Oh and one last thing before I go.
To all you people out there who purchased tickets only to sell them on Trade me so you could make a profit, You're lucky I don't use the site or I'd want to come and hunt you down and then smack you in the head for being such evil money grabbing thieve and stealing from the true fans.
Stealing away what could possibly be the last time to see the rock gods that are Metallica.

What a night it was!
Although it very nearly didn't happen thanks to me almost missing my flight.
Left in plenty of time, well so I thought.
However, there seemed to be more cars on the road than usual, and we hit every single light.
I got there with one minute left and went straight on the plane.
But now, the concert.
All nine of us left a cousins place a little after five, and walked to the Bowl of Brookland. A walk between 5-10 minutes.
Once there we found a good spot on the grass and settled in to enjoy the evening.
Oh and for the record $7:50 for a very very tiny bottle of wine meant we didn't worry about drinking up large after having one bottle each.
Finally, 6pm and out he came.
John Rowles!
From his first number: "Cheryl Moana Marie" to the last: "If I only had time," we sure knew this was how "John Rowles."
He thanked us for coming along to see him, and of course people yelled back, "We didn't!"
Overall a very entertaining 40 minutes helped no doubt by me telling my dad that "Cheryl Moana Marie" was actually called "Share your Marijuana with me."
I hadn't even realised I had said that until he asked if I was drunk after only one little bottle of wine.
So John had finished and now we had to wait, and at 7 the wait was finally over.
Out came Cliff Richard and the shadows, and for the next 3.5 hours we were completely entertained.
So many hits one after the other, and the Shadows even had two segments of their own either side of the half time break.
A few highlights had to be:
Cliff telling us they were happy to be here, and then stating that at their age they're happy to be anywhere.
Then someone from the Shadows I forget who now telling us how they wanted to show some overseas tourists some English hospitality after one of their shows, so they took them back stage and mugged them... Joking, of course.
Parts of the crowd probably thought dad and I were crazy as after certain songs Cliff would say "Thank you, thank you," and we would reply "You're welcome!"
Nothing odd in that really, apart from the fact we always said it at the exact same time.
When I'm at concerts I have this habit of recognising songs after the first couple of notes and then yelling at the top of my voice if it's a song I like. This concert was certainly know different, and I had people round me laughing wondering how the hell I was able to know what song it was when they were still trying to figure it out.
Probably another highlight was when "Bachelor Boy," was being sung. Mum couldn't resist yelling out "This is my son's song," pointing at me while she said it.
Overall, it was a fantastic night, and one I'm glad I was a part of.
To see, a Legend like Sir Cliff Richard and the Shadows performing for me is and was a once in a life time experience, as I'm sure we won't see them again.
Sir cliff himself although 70 this October still moved across the stage and sung as if he was rocking away in the late 50s, again.
The Shadows, most of them in their early 70's still had it, and seemed to have a never ending supply of energy.
They're certainly not the young ones anymore, but it was truly a once in every life time experience.

Nothing serious but I did find this funny, so thought I'd share


The madam opened the brothel door in Glasgow and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties.
"May I help you sir?" she asked..

"I want to see Valerie," the man replied.

"Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else", said the madam.

"No, I must see Valerie," he replied.

Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man she charged £5000 a visit. Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand pounds and gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, the man calmly left..

The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Valerie.
Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row, as she was so expensive. There were no discounts. The price was still £5000.

Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left.

The following night the man was there yet again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs.

After their session, Valerie said to the man, "No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?"

The man replied, " Edinburgh "

"Really", she said. "I have family in Edinburgh ."

"I know." the man said. "Your sister died, and I'm her solicitor. I was instructed to deliver your £15,000 inheritance in person."

The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain.
1. Death
2. Taxes
3. Being screwed by a lawyer

I've been asked a lot lately what I mean by Audio Description (AD) and how it works.
so hear I go with my own explanation of what it is and how it works.
The best way to start is, from the beginning.
I've always loved movies, always have and always will.
Most of my blind friends could never believe how many movies I would watch. Most of them just gave up as they found them way to visual and therefore lost concentration.
I must state that I'm not referring to all blind people hear, just the close friends I had at the time.
I on the other hand didn't mind the fact I couldn't see what was going on. It forced me to use my imagination and if I was really confused I would ask someone sighted. That, however was something I very rarely did though.
Over the years I found movies I loved and would watch over and over again, movies that made me cry, laugh, and movies I thought sucked so bad I promised myself I'd never watch them again.
That's nothing new as everyone has found movies liked that over the years though.
In 2003 I left everything behind and moved to Wellington. A new life, a new job, and a fantastic challenge.
It was here I saw a sample of my first AD movie. It was Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone.
It was only a 15 minute segment, but I'm not over exaggerating when I say it changed my life for ever.

I had never watched Harry Potter before so I couldn't test the idea that was running round in my head.
I was thinking, wow with AD I'm no longer needing to use my imagination. All visual scenes or important parts are now being described for me. I can now completely follow everything.
What I wanted to do though was test it. Test it on a movie I thought I knew back to front. I got my chance.
One of my all time favs is The Sound of Music. I've lost count how many times I've watched it. Yes, if you do want to know, I also sing all the songs.
I know this movie very well indeed.
I started the movie and within a few minutes I was extremely impressed.
The narration was describing things I had never even thought of and of course I would have completely missed. The colour of the sky, the hills, the surrounding landscape, and while Maria was singing describing what she looked like, how she moved.
The rest of the movie carried on and even though I did know the movie every now and then a few visual things would pop up and completely surprise me.
The scene when the captain calls all 7 children to meet Maria for the first time, and the last girl with the book.
The scene towards the end of the movie when the family were hiding getting ready to leave Austria. I new they were in the convent yes, but after the describer told me, I knew exactly where in the convent they were. Just small things like that, but still interesting enough.
After that movie, I was hooked.
I tested it out with more movies I knew. Back to the Future, the Jungle Book Sleepless in Seattle and so many more, way to many to list here.
Each time I knew the movie anyway, but was always amazed with the little visual parts I'd missed.
AD with movies I haven't seen is just as good and even more exciting at times.

AD has certainly expanded though.
It's not just on movies for example TV shows also.
I love DR. Who and Heroes for example. Watching both these with AD is truly fantastic.
Heroes especially with the Japanese sub-titles. Without AD I'd have know clue what the heck they were saying to each other.
The one thing that saddens me about AD is we don't have it here in NZ.
In the UK for example, you turn on your TV go to sky and watch Forgetting Sarah Marshall and it's described.
Perhaps you wanted to watch top Gear, or Neighbours, or Coro Street, all Described.
You don't get that here when you turn on the TV.
Even better in the UK, US and Canada, you want to go out on a date or with a group of friends to the movies and go see District 9? No problem, walk in, pay your money, plug in a headset and you have AD while sitting in the picture theatre.
Sadly, not over here. I still go to the movies though, but it's harder watching now that I really know what I'm missing.
Some DVDs will also come with AD. Mostly in the UK and the US, but if your lucky you can find the odd one here in NZ.
The movie Ray for example has an AD track. So to does The Passion of the Christ and a couple of others.
Sadly though, the menus on the DVD itself aren't accessible so unless your playing it on your computer, you would need sighted assistance to find the AD track.
So there you have it, a different explanation, but one that works for me.
If you have any more questions do let me know, or if you are in Welly and you want to see a sample of what I'm going on about just ask.

Maybe this isn't something normal for a single guy to think about, but it really interest me.
Would you want to know what gender your new born baby is going to be?
This thought came into my head after a conversation I had with my mum last night.
My cousin is about to give birth to her first child. She had scans of course, but didn't want to know what gender the baby would be.
I asked mum if she had the chance when she was carrying me around would she have wanted to find out if I was a boy or girl.
Mum said she thinks that she probably would have, but then later gave me a completely different response.
I also remember back sometime in the 1990 an uncle and aunt were going to be having a baby and they knew what sex the baby would be, but not all the family wanted to know. They had the task of telling those who did and those who didn't.
So I started thinking wouldn't most people want to know the sex before birth?
I said yes to that straight away.
Rightly or wrongly I thought about being prepared.
Having the room painted to make it look like a welcoming room for a boy or a girl.
the buying of clothes, and so on.
I said that to mum and she said that maybe if that was your second or third baby you might do that, but if its your first child you might want it to be a surprise.
She went on to add that people tend to give family members expecting babies loads of baby clothes anyway.
I carried on the conversation about an hour later with my brother.
He said the same thing I did. He would want to know so you could get everything from the room down prepared.
Our cousin already has a room set up for the baby, and my brother said it's probably just a white room which they may look at painting later on.
It just seems like an interesting topic to think about, and I just wanted to get it out there.
If your in that situation would you want to know?
Is this a strange thing for a single 30 year old male to be thinking about?
Or lastly, should I just crawl back into my corner as I clearly have no clue as to what I'm talking about?

A husband wrote the following letter for his wife and left it on the dining room table:
           
'To My Dear Wife.
You will  surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being  54 years old, can no longer satisfy.
I am very happy  with you & I value you as a good wife.
Therefore,  after reading this letter, I hope that  you will not wrongly  interpret the fact hat I will be spending the  evening with my 18 year  old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel.
Please don't be upset - I shall be home before midnight.'

When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table:            

'My Dear Husband.
I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old.
I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old.
As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college.
I would like to  inform you that while you read this, I will be at  the Marriot Hotel with Michael, one of my students.
He is young, virile, and like your secretary, is 18 years  old As a successful  businessman who has an excellent knowledge  of  Math, you will understand that although it may appear that we are in the  same situation, there is one mathematical difference:
 
'18 goes into 54 a lot  more times than 54 goes into 18.'
 
Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow

I don't know how many times I've tried to write this, but here we go again.
I'm constantly it seems reminded by friends and family about my single lifestyle.
"It's time to find someone. I wish a was a grandparent," and the comments just go on.
In the past I just used to laugh it off, and joke saying I didn't want to be tied down.
Didn't want to be tied down? Gosh Anthony, it isn't as if you hit the clubs and jump the bones of every chick you meet. You might want too, but that isn't and never has been your style.
No, my style just seems to be sit at home, then go to work, and come back home.
It seems as I've gotten older, I've become shy.
I had no problem meeting people when I was younger and would talk to anyone, and I do mean anyone.
Now I find I'm my real self more on Twitter for example than in person.
In person, I've now become someone that hardly says boo.
I'd go to work, and I'm in my office, and there I stay most times. It's not very often you see me in the staff room, and if I am, I'm certainly not chatting like my usual self.
So how on earth am I going to meet someone?
There I've actually said it. I hate being single, I'm over and I want it to change.
How?
I don't go clubbing and can't remember the last party I went too.
I've never been self-conscience about my blindness, but I think, or rather I know, I am about my hearing.
For those who are reading this and don't know, I have a slight hearing loss as well. One of the downsides of this stupid eye condition I have.
It's because of this hearing loss I tend to be quiet and stay away from noisy venues. Mainly because I'm worried I won't be able to hear conversations.
However, it's the same at work. I'm quiet there as well. I speak when I'm spoken too, and that's it.
I really hate it as it isn't the person I know I really am.
The real person is the one who loves fun, and a hopeless romantic, and loves spending time with his friends and family. I'm that person on Twitter for example where I can completely relax and be myself, and that is just extremely sad to admit that.
So, unless I can get over this issue I have with my hearing anytime soon, I will have to start to use Batchler Boy as my own personal anthem.
Not to mention the work I need to put in to start loseing weight also.

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch,
'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this:


COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT



ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?


COSTELLO : Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking

about buying a computer.


ABBOTT : Mac?


COSTELLO : No, the name's Lou


ABBOTT : Your computer?


COSTELLO : I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.


ABBOTT : Mac?


COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou ...


ABBOTT : What about Windows?


COSTELLO : Why? Will it get stuffy in here?


ABBOTT : Do you want a computer with Windows?


COSTELLO : I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?


ABBOTT : Wallpaper.


COSTELLO : Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.


ABBOTT : Software for Windows?


COSTELLO : No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write

proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?


ABBOTT : Office.


COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?


ABBOTT : I just did.


COSTELLO : You just did what?


ABBOTT : Recommend something.


COSTELLO : You recommended something ?


ABBOTT : Yes.


COSTELLO : For my office?


ABBOTT : Yes.


COSTELLO : OK, what did you recommend for my office?


ABBOTT : Office.


COSTELLO : Yes, for my office!


ABBOTT : I recommend Office with Windows.


COSTELLO : I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm

sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?


ABBOTT : Word.


COSTELLO : What word?


ABBOTT : Word in Office.


COSTELLO : The only word in office is office.


ABBOTT : The Word in Office for Windows.


COSTELLO : Which word in office for windows?


ABBOTT : The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.


COSTELLO : I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some

straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I

can track my money with?


ABBOTT: Money.


COSTELLO : That's right. What do you have?


ABBOTT : Money.


COSTELLO : I need money to track my money?


ABBOTT : It comes bundled with your computer.


COSTELLO : What's bundled with my computer?


ABBOTT : Money.


COSTELLO : Money comes with my computer?


ABBOTT : Yes. No extra charge.


COSTELLO : I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?


ABBOTT : One copy.


COSTELLO : Isn't it illegal to copy money?


ABBOTT : Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.


COSTELLO : They can give you a license to copy money?


ABBOTT : Why not? THEY OWN IT!


(A few days later)


ABBOTT : Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?


COSTELLO : How do I turn my computer off?


ABBOTT : Click on 'START'..........

Its Friday night and I'm glad, but perhaps a little sad.
Its been perhaps one of those days in history that many people won't forget.
I'm sure we can think of days like that regardless of whether you were born then or not.
The sinking of the Titanic, The Assassination of J.F.K, The death of John Lennon, The death of Lady Di, and now the death of the King of Pop, Michael Jackson.
My first reaction when I heard the news was, here we go with another sick joke.
However, it became quite clear that it was not a joke, as the updates came flooding in. Especially if one is using Twitter.
So the news that all his fans dreaded was confirmed a little time after ten in the morning NZ time. Michael Jackson at the age of 50 had died.
How will he be remembered?
Guess it really depends on your own point of view and those of people around you, and the types of media you access.
Already, like Lady Di's death, jokes have started to surface, but I, will not, mention any of them here!
Was he weird?
Was he wacky?
Probably, but aren't we all at times?
His problem was he was constantly in the public eye, so he could never ever escape.
All I've heard today are tribute after tributes for the man.
His kind heart, his visits to children's hospitals, and it goes on.
I remember the same kind of things being mentioned when Lady Di past away.
Michael Jackson has certainly had his share of controversy, high profile court cases, sex charges and the like. He however, was found not guilty, and personally that's where it ends for me.
In his heyday Michael was "The man".
His catchy songs, great pop hits like, Beat it, Bad, Thriller, to his thought provoking songs such as Heal the World, man in the mirror, and others.
How about his dancing?
Being totally blind myself, I could never appreciate what a dancer he was, and many people would try to copy his style, and my brother did try to show me once.
Sure Jackson might not have had the hits like he had back then, but he certainly is still popular today.
You only need to look at his Europe tour that sadly now won't be going ahead. The tickets sold out in minutes.
Do you need anymore proof?
So forget the weirdness and the controversies that seemed to fill Michael's life, lets just remember him for who he was.
A wonderful, wonderful, entertainer, and "The King Of Pop."
RIP Michael,
The world has lost a truly remarkable entertainer.

How are all my non-Twitter friends out there?
Certainly been a little while since I've updated.
Actually I was reading someone elses blog today, and it was that which made me post this update.
I know I've been bugging some of you to join Twitter, but not everyone has done so. lol
Work is quite busy and certainly for some of my colleagues the situation doesn't seem to good.
My brother is now no longer working, the company he worked for cut half their staff, so he is deciding what his next step will be.
He, is I'm glad to say considering moving to Wellington which if he does would just be fantastic!
Now for those of you who really know me, you know I don't mind the cold.
Well, last week I had to go away to Taupo for work.
Wow was it cold!
It was minus4 on the Wednesday, and on Thursday much much warmer with a minus3.
So I had to laugh for when I got back to Wellington it was a lovely plus9.
The ice though in taupo was just amazing and so thick. On car doors and anywhere near a heater was just bliss.
I am now seriously considering spending money.
I was doing some research for someone at work today, and in doing so, I've now decided that I, Really, want a Plextalk pocket. they are just so cool, tiny, and yet extremely useful.
Okay, well enough of these rambles, not very exciting I know, but you all take care out there, and my birthday is in October if anyone wants to buy me a Plextalk Pocket. lolTTFN off to eat a Jelly Tip Trumpet. Haven't had one for ages!